


step into your orbit, i- i’m your satellite (and i’ll always end up by your side)

by b4by_h0tl1n3



Series: you used to have me paralyzed (so here i go again) [3]
Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Couch Cuddles, Domestic Fluff, Dorks in Love, First Kiss, Flowers, Fluff and Angst, Gentle Kissing, Getting Together, Hair Braiding, Hair Brushing, Implied/Referenced Non-Consensual Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Torture, Love Confessions, Nonbinary Character, Other, They/Them Pronouns for Benrey (Half-Life), Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Touch-Starved, this is the fluffiest one on the market I promise you that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26552257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b4by_h0tl1n3/pseuds/b4by_h0tl1n3
Summary: It started as a kind gesture between roommates... no, between friends. It quickly becomes something a bit more heartfelt and personal.(title from will stetson’s cover of rumor by police piccadilly)
Relationships: Benrey & Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Series: you used to have me paralyzed (so here i go again) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903141
Comments: 6
Kudos: 140





	step into your orbit, i- i’m your satellite (and i’ll always end up by your side)

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate Title: Gordon Should’ve Known About The Inherent Romanticism Of Gently Brushing And Braiding Your Friend’s Hair.
> 
> Greetings for the third time! (can’t believe i’m saying this!) it’s eli/bennie/harold :)
> 
> I’d really like to thank everybody who’s left nice words or kudos on my fics! I guarantee I wouldn’t have gotten to this point without you all being so sweet! Sharing my writing was something I’ve always wanted to do, but I’ve never been strong enough until now! Thanks for all the support guys! <3
> 
> So, without further ado, enjoy... PART 3! :D
> 
> NOTE: please do not interact with this fic if you actively write or consume nsfw content for HLVRAI! ‘I’d rather you didn’t’ equals ‘no!’

“Just- just come over here and sit on the couch or something.” Gordon muttered. 

He didn’t bother waiting for them to move, instead grabbing their upper arm and pulling them down on his lap. They froze, and he smiled wryly, eyeing the teal blush that painted their cheeks. 

“shit, gordos is santa? getting me on his lap n’ stuff?” 

He snickered, running his hand under their beanie and into their dark mess of thick hair. Beginning to massage his scalp, Gordon let them burrow their face into the crook of his neck. 

“damn... feels good, man.” They mumbled, closing their eyes.

He experimentally slid his other hand under their shirt, synthetic fingers tracing stripes up and down their spine. Hearing them gasp and sigh at the contact was all that he needed. He knew full well how touch-starved they were, and decided to give them every last bit of the comfort they craved. 

His hand quickly caught on a tangle, causing them to yelp. Their hair was a lot more unkempt that he’d originally thought. 

While rubbing behind their ears to wordlessly apologize, he had a lightbulb go off in his head. He got up, jostling the guard around a bit, to their irritation. 

“wow, feetman. way to make a- a bro feel special and then leave ‘em to die. real cold.” 

Gordon knew the other’s tricks, and rolled his eyes. 

“You really liked that, huh?” 

Smirking as he watched them grow flustered from his comment, he knew he’d won that round at least. 

“I’m coming back you know, you big baby. I’m not that mean.” 

Heading into the bathroom, he quickly gathered his hairbrush and a hair tie. 

“‘M back!” He announced, receiving a confused “whuh?” in response. 

“I- I was holding you! We were having a moment!” 

Benrey blinked before offering a soft ‘huh’ and letting their head hit the back of the couch. He saw them suspiciously eyeing the brush, shifting uncomfortably in their seat. 

“oh, nah man. it- the thing hurts too much. rippin’ my head off ‘n shit.” They explained, nervously shaking their head. 

The eldritch being with a triple-digit kill count was freaking out over a hairbrush? Gordon stifled a snort at the thought, and slowly approached them. 

Remembering their struggle to adjust to human life, he realized their discomfort made sense.

“Benrey, buddy, if it hurts, you’re not doing it right.” 

They pulled their beanie down over their face, letting a few orange and yellow orbs flow from their mouth. He squinted, trying to decipher their color. Orange and yellow were warm colors, and the orbs smelled of smoke. It clicked for him after a few seconds. 

[The color of flames mean I’m ashamed.] 

The taller man frowned, setting the items down on the table and joining his roommate on the couch. He put an arm around their shoulders and gave them a small squeeze. 

“Hey,” Gordon murmured, cupping their cheek with his prosthetic. “It’s alright.” 

They shook their head. 

“‘s not. stupid and pathetic.” 

They were starting to shake, digging their nails into the palms of their hands. 

“I- stop that Benrey, you’re gonna hurt yourself.” He took their wrists and slowly ran his thumbs over them, grounding the guard. 

“things- things are hard, man. life’s on expert mode or some shit. lower health bar, random regen times... pretty suck.” 

Gordon had grown to understand Benrey’s anecdotes enough over the past couple months to get what he meant. A single brown orb floated past him, and he bit his lip. 

[Coffee means please don’t hate me.] 

He pulled them close as quickly as he could. He felt them freeze, but only held them tighter. 

“I could never.” He whispered, rubbing their back in a steady rhythm. “I l- I care about you. You start feeling like that, let me know.” 

They propped their head on his shoulder so they could let out a string of light running from maroon to cerulean. 

He’d learned quite a few phrases and colors from Tommy, and could easily read the trail of orbs. 

[Maroon to bright blue means I don’t deserve you.] 

“As much of an asshole you can be sometimes, you still deserve love and respect. Everyone does.” He said, resting his hand on the small of their back. 

“bro, i thought you hated the u.s. military.” They mumbled, finally returning the hug.

“Well... shit, yeah, I do. Fuck the military.” He grumbled. 

“fuck cops too.” They added, leaning into his shoulder. 

“You want me to help you brush your hair?” They nodded, nuzzling against Gordon’s neck and eliciting an embarrassed squeak from the other. 

“A-alright, then.” 

Letting them slide forward to straddle his hips, he carefully started to run the brush through their tangled hair. 

“Let me know if it gets to be too much, okay?” 

They hummed in agreement, closing their eyes. 

The coolness of his prosthetic was a nice balance to the heat of his body, and Benrey practically melted when he combed his fingers through their long, dark locks. 

“You have really soft, pretty hair.” He murmured, and they felt the tips of their ears flush blue. 

“k-kinda gay of you, but, uh, cool. thank.” 

Gently rubbing behind their ears, Gordon talked them through how to brush their hair. They nodded intently, watching him demonstrate. 

“Here.” 

Offering them the hairbrush, he let them scoot back so they could do it themself. Slowly repeating the motion, they looked up at him for approval, and received a warm smile and pat on the shoulder. 

“Good job, bud. You’re a fast learner, aren’t you?” 

They shrugged, flustered by the praise. 

“Think you can keep going by yourself?” 

Flashing him a confident grin, they began to brush the tangles out of their mess of dark hair. 

“yo, look at these mad skills, bro. gonna go for that 100% so-” 

The brush caught on a particularly nasty knot, causing them to yelp. 

“Need some help?” 

Benrey stared at the tangle and huffed. Shaking their head, they calmly followed his earlier instructions and whooped when the knot had been defeated. 

“fuck yeah, level complete!” 

He couldn’t help but laugh. 

“So, uh, Benrey, why do you keep your hair so long? Doesn’t it get hot or annoying when it gets in your face?” 

Pausing from their brushing, they seemed to shrink in his lap, clearly debating something in their head. 

“s-so, uh back in bitch misery,” they began, taking a few deep breaths, “they- they’d never let me have anything past the ears. said it was, uh, unprofessional or some rank shit. they’d have to sedate me to- to cut my hair. all ‘cause i was ‘property of the lab’ or something.” 

Gordon frowned; this was the first piece of information he’d ever gotten related to their past, and it was heartbreaking. 

“That’s terrible.” He said, and they nodded and looked away. 

“Hey, Benrey? Look at me, please?” 

They turned to him, still refusing to make eye contact. Pulling them into his arms, he felt them go stiff. 

“Thank you for trusting me with that. It must’ve been hard, but I’m glad you shared that with me.” 

Moving back from the embrace, sweet voice oozed from their mouth and stained his shirt gray and reddish brown. 

[Steel to rust means ‘it’s you I trust.’] 

“If it matters I think you- you look really pretty with long hair.” 

Blushing slightly, they let out a nervous chuckle. After a moment of silence, they opened their mouth to speak, and he cut them off. 

“No, nuh-uh, don’t you dare say ‘oh, bluh, gaydon feetman,’ or any of that.” 

They blew a raspberry at him, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously close to that under their breath. Benrey’s hair ended up falling in their face, obscuring their vision, and causing them to sputter as some ended up in their mouth. 

Gordon remembered the hair tie on his wrist and immediately had an idea. 

“It looks like you got most of the bad knots out of your hair. Do you want me to- I mean, do you want it braided?” 

They blinked slowly, almost catlike, before nodding. 

“Sounds good. Just turn your back to me…” 

Climbing out of his lap, they readjusted themself on the couch. 

“You might feel a little pull, but if you want me to stop, I’ll stop.” 

Benrey hummed in response, closing their eyes as he divided their hair into three neat rows. As he got to work, he swore he could hear quiet purrs coming from the guard. Occasionally he’d hear a hiss from them, but he’d follow up with an apologetic scratch behind the ears or pat on the head.  
“Over… Under… Yeah! Braid’s done, but sit tight for a sec? I just got an idea.” 

Gordon disappeared out back, and returned with something behind his back. The sound of the sink running, then scissors came from the kitchen, leaving them curious as to what he was up to. 

“Just stay there, it’ll only be a second!” He called, and before they could whine about his absence, he reappeared in the doorway. 

“I’m back. I got something for you, but close your eyes.” 

Carefully tucking the warm-hued flower into his roommate’s hair, he couldn’t help but smile at the sight. 

“Alright. Wanna see what you look like in the mirror?” 

Benrey hummed excitedly, scrambling into the bathroom. After the lights flickered on, there was silence. His mind immediately started to worry, until they peeked out from behind the door, eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. 

“bro… looks so fucking good… put me on gucci or some shit.” 

They were grinning from ear to ear, showing off their razor-sharp teeth. 

“Can I get a picture of you? Not gonna put it anywhere, scout’s honor, but just… you look so- you look really nice like that.” 

Snickering to themself, they took a seat on the couch again, and he quickly pulled out his phone. 

Gordon caught a great shot of them, feeling his heart swell a bit. Benrey had a bashful smile on their face as the rays of the sunset gave them a sort of halo, bathing them in a soft light. Their pale skin and piercing blue eyes provided a nice contrast to the warmth surrounding them. To him, it seemed like a renaissance painting one would find in a museum. 

To put it simply, they were beautiful. 

Regaining his ability to speak and think coherently, he set his phone aside and turned to them. 

“So, what do you think?” 

There was radio silence on the other end for a minute. 

“i love the way it looks now, man.” They said, breaking the silence. “finally getting that dream ‘do. and dream life.” 

Gordon froze. 

This was Benrey’s supposed ‘dream life’? 

“What- what do you mean by that?” 

A brief flash of panic covered their face before they regained their composure. 

“listen, i care-” they paused to clear their throat and carefully plan their next words. “know what? i just gotta say it how it is.” 

A pale blue blush dusted their cheeks, drawing out their freckles in the light. Benrey grabbed his hand in a burst of courage and laced their clawed fingers with his human ones. 

“i fucking love you, man.”

Gordon's eyes widened as they continued. 

“i wanna be there to help ya’ when you get nightmares, and see you smile like an idiot, and fuckin’, uh, wake up next to you in the morning. and i think you need more- more love than you’re getting.” 

He was blushing furiously at their confession, trying to mask the pink covering his face with a confident expression, but failing miserably. 

“the night i showed up here, i knew i loved you, cuz’ you did the hug… and i felt fuckin’ safe for once. gordos sweetman over here, givin’ me everything after i tried to, uh, smite ‘em.” 

Benrey looked down at their intertwined hands, gently swinging them back and forth. 

“i dunno if i can make you really happy, but i wanted you to know or else i’d fuckin’ do the bubby and explode.” 

They turned away, shooting orbs of pink and blue everywhere and hiding their face in their hands. 

[Pink to blue… means ‘I love you’.]

“Hey,” he murmured, taking both hands in his and smiling warmly, “I- I think I like you too? I think you’re… dare I say cute, and I can tell you’re trying real hard to be better.” 

Gordon sighed, cupping their cheek with his real hand and turning their head to face him. 

“Listen, when you first showed up here, I was really nervous. I kinda worried about you a lot despite you being a little asshole, and seeing you again was the world’s biggest fucking relief. Still, I thought you’d try to antagonize me, so I tried to keep my distance. Seeing you be so goofy and sweet, and maybe a little bit of a bastard sometimes, but all in good fun, makes me so fucking happy. I can’t believe you’ve seen me at my worst and still decided that I’m the guy you want.” 

They snorted. 

“you think you’re bad? bitch, you weren’t the final boss!” 

He chuckled, patting their head affectionately. 

“Maybe we’ve both fucked up in the past, but that doesn’t mean we can’t change, ya’ know? We don't have to be bad anymore.” 

Resting their head on his shoulder, those beautiful blue eyes looked up at him with such love and devotion, and he nearly started crying. 

“wanna kiss?” They asked eagerly, and the other adjusted himself so he could face them. 

“Yeah. Yeah, that’d be nice.” 

He let them make the first move, diving into him and throwing their arms around his neck. 

“uh, ‘s my first time doin’ this, so…” they frowned, but felt a hand weave through their dark locks, messing up the braid, but providing gentle comfort. 

“It’s alright. I’m all for taking it slow. I’m not gonna force you into anything you don’t wanna do, okay?” 

Benrey smiled, sharp teeth glinting in the dim light of the living room. “‘kay. not gonna push you too far either. just two dudes vibin’ and smoochin’. you’d better be ready for a big ol’ kissaroo.” 

The two lay in silence for a moment before they spoke up again. 

“so, uh can i kiss you?” They asked quietly. 

“Go right ahead.” 

Leaning in, they pressed their surprisingly-soft lips to his, eyes fluttering closed. His beard tickled their neck as they moved closer, saving this memory in their mind forever. Neither went any further, simply enjoying the warmth and closeness of the other. 

Pulling away with blue on their cheeks, they let a lovestruck grin spread across their face. 

“yo, that was pretty neat, friend.” 

He offered them a peck on the cheek and they gasped. 

“i’m gonna have to kiss you back. legally required to, so… pucker up.” 

Licking their lips, they began to press a flurry of butterfly kisses to his face. Sweet voice dribbled from their mouth, coloring each one and painting his skin with vibrant pinks, purples, and blues. Gordon flailed around, squeaking and laughing, helpless to the barrage of kisses. 

Pulling back to admire their masterpiece, they sighed. 

“wanted to do that for so long. gotcha good, huh?” 

The bright colors seemed to dissolve into thin air, and they yawned, pulling a blanket off of the side of the couch. 

“nap time. nap time for gay people.” They mumbled, removing the rose from their hair and slinging an arm over his middle. 

Rolling his eyes, he set his glasses on the coffee table and rolled onto his side to hold them. Benrey was always cold, (one of the side effects of experimentation, he assumed), so he decided to spare himself the whining and provide them warmth. 

“thanks. you know, for everything that’s gone down. ‘m trying to be better. get better maybe?” 

He nodded, rubbing their back absentmindedly. 

“Me too. It’s hard, but we’ll get there.” 

Kissing their forehead, he smiled. 

“We might not even make it there. Doesn’t matter.” 

Gordon felt them shift and return the favor, then press their forehead to his. 

“All that matters is that we’ll walk together, right?” 

Benrey pulled away and nodded, mumbling a soft ‘love you,’ before the two fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> {yellow rose with red tips represents friendship/falling in love} haha friends to lovers flower? :eyes emoji:  
> I also researched what flowers grow well in New Mexico and roses were on the list, which made things like 20x easier
> 
> thank you so much for reading! <3
> 
> feel free to leave a comment down below if you enjoyed or if you’re just in a comment-y mood! there’s always room for improvement here!


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